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How (Over)Working Women Can Conquer Perfectionism

How do you manage your own, or your colleagues', perfectionism?

Featured Author:

Renee Weisman

Renee Weisman, owner of Winning at Work, charted new territory as one of the first woman engineers, managers, executives and working mothers in the male-dominated semiconductor industry. Over her 40 years in education and industry, she learned to make gender differences work for her — and teaches others how to do the same. She is a frequent speaker at corporations and conferences around the US. She teaches classes tailored to enhance women in their careers and to enable male managers to better understand how to capitalize on the differences between men and women in business. She is the author of Winning in a Man’s World, Advice for Women Who Want to Succeed and the Men Who Work with Them.

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More articles from this author:

• Job Searching? It's All About Who You Know
• How to Get Your Resume to the Top of the Pile
• How to Survive the First Week at Your New Job

Do any of these sound familiar?

• You have a great idea but you aren’t telling anyone because it still needs work.

• You stay up late to redo the presentation you have already spent 20 hours on.

• You won’t tell anyone about the job you have applied for, just in case you don’t get it.

• You have more work than you can handle but you won’t give any projects over to someone else because he/she won’t do it as well as you can.

If any of these people sound like you, you are suffering from the disease of perfectionism. This ailment, which afflicts females much more than males, can stunt your career growth. What is equally disturbing is that in this pursuit of an ideal, women tend to find fault with other women, and as a result, can hold each other back.

What’s wrong with trying to be perfect? After all, there are books about pursuit of excellence, being your best, tapping your ultimate potential and you name it. The problem is that perfection is an ideal — it does NOT exist. As such, you can’t ever reach it and will frustrate yourself trying. Even worse, if you can’t let go of the concept, you can become a control freak and burn yourself out.

Ok, you admit, you’re afflicted. Is it terminal? Luckily, no. Diagnosing the disease is a huge (and the first) step in your recovery. The next step is understanding what is “good enough”.

Good enough is what your customer needs. Good enough accomplishes the objective. Good enough gets the job done well. Good enough is when someone else says, “Thanks, that’s what I was looking for.” If you aren’t sure if what you just did was good enough, ask someone you trust for an opinion. Trainers advise athletes not to over-exercise; good career coaches advise not to over-prepare.

The third step is letting go. Control is not leadership. Let go by delegating effectively, and congratulate yourself for doing so. To delegate effectively, you need to give the tools to do the job well to another person, and appreciate that the changes he or she may bring will enhance what you’ve created.

The fourth step is giving yourself credit. If you have worked hard and put forth a good product, take pride in the result. When others compliment you on the work, say thank you. Never say “Thanks, but I really wish I had also added…” By finding fault, however small, with your work, you diminish it and yourself.

The final step, and it is a BIG one, is share your aspirations. If you are looking for perfection, you will never believe you are good enough. But if you ease up and share your goal with others, they can become allies as you work towards that next assignment, new position, or new opportunity. Soliciting help from people who know and can recommend you will grease the skids. Your boss, your mentor, or your friends can’t read your mind. After all, they’re not perfect.