Career Tips >> Browse Articles >> Career Advancement Tips
Career Tips >> Browse Articles >> Leadership/Management Tips
Career Tips >> Browse Articles >> Featured Writers
How (Over)Working Women Can Conquer Perfectionism
How do you manage your own, or your colleagues', perfectionism?
Renee Weisman | Excelle
Do any of these sound familiar?
• You have a great idea but you aren’t telling anyone because it still needs work.
• You stay up late to redo the presentation you have already spent 20 hours on.
• You won’t tell anyone about the job you have applied for, just in case you don’t get it.
• You have more work than you can handle but you won’t give any projects over to someone else because he/she won’t do it as well as you can.
If any of these people sound like you, you are suffering from the disease of perfectionism. This ailment, which afflicts females much more than males, can stunt your career growth. What is equally disturbing is that in this pursuit of an ideal, women tend to find fault with other women, and as a result, can hold each other back.
What’s wrong with trying to be perfect? After all, there are books about pursuit of excellence, being your best, tapping your ultimate potential and you name it. The problem is that perfection is an ideal — it does NOT exist. As such, you can’t ever reach it and will frustrate yourself trying. Even worse, if you can’t let go of the concept, you can become a control freak and burn yourself out.
Ok, you admit, you’re afflicted. Is it terminal? Luckily, no. Diagnosing the disease is a huge (and the first) step in your recovery. The next step is understanding what is “good enough”.
Good enough is what your customer needs. Good enough accomplishes the objective. Good enough gets the job done well. Good enough is when someone else says, “Thanks, that’s what I was looking for.” If you aren’t sure if what you just did was good enough, ask someone you trust for an opinion. Trainers advise athletes not to over-exercise; good career coaches advise not to over-prepare.
The third step is letting go. Control is not leadership. Let go by delegating effectively, and congratulate yourself for doing so. To delegate effectively, you need to give the tools to do the job well to another person, and appreciate that the changes he or she may bring will enhance what you’ve created.
The fourth step is giving yourself credit. If you have worked hard and put forth a good product, take pride in the result. When others compliment you on the work, say thank you. Never say “Thanks, but I really wish I had also added…” By finding fault, however small, with your work, you diminish it and yourself.
The final step, and it is a BIG one, is share your aspirations. If you are looking for perfection, you will never believe you are good enough. But if you ease up and share your goal with others, they can become allies as you work towards that next assignment, new position, or new opportunity. Soliciting help from people who know and can recommend you will grease the skids. Your boss, your mentor, or your friends can’t read your mind. After all, they’re not perfect.



MsLang107
3 months ago
36 comments
I LOVE ALL YOUR ARTICLES!!!
MagicMarketing
8 months ago
290 comments
Thats what I need....to conquer perfectionism! More time to do more.
johnsbxstr
8 months ago
8 comments
Great article. We all have to allow ourselves to be a little imperfect.
wjndesigns
8 months ago
5052 comments
Great article. I am a recovering perfectionist. Now I have learned to let it go and my training in mastering emotional fears has also given me the power to conquer my perfectionism.
kimmylee9
8 months ago
6 comments
Great concept. My only solution to what I thought should be teamwork was to let go of training and giving the responsibility back to the manager of the office since she did not back me up for the job she gave me. Not sure if its working but my stress level has gone down.
LivelyPath
9 months ago
48 comments
Great article!!
Overcoming perfectionism myself. My behaviors stemmed from an emotional and physical abusive marriage. I had to make everything perfect to keep the abused pain away and him happy during this abuse. Reaching into the future from the abuse I worked it right into the job place. I am feeling good now. It has taken twelve years to relearn my behaviors and it was about 33 years ago this abuse happened and it lasted about six years.
Back then, articles like this weren't easily found to help others. The internet was not there for me, and I am glad it is for others along with your site.
Thank you, and all be enlightened.
KellyJW
9 months ago
2 comments
Guilty as charged! I believe many women who have ambitions to be the best she can has a little bit perfectionist in them, at least starting out. Unfortunately, I am all too familiar with the control freak/burnout you mentioned - both at work and even at home. I made notes to myself on your steps. Looking forward to reading more of your articles Renee!
SaraM
9 months ago
2 comments
Great article - it really hits the mark!! As a recovering perfectionist myself, I found that starting small and identifying a project to practice these steps on is key to overcoming your innate perfectionist habits and fears!! I would also add that in addition to giving yourself credit, recognizing and complimenting the accomplishments of others is also useful. The messages you send out into the world will come back to you and empower you further!
Miss_Mary_Kay
9 months ago
2062 comments
Woo-eee...seems that SOMEbody needs to take a couple of steps back, and a deep breath! Thank you, Renee, for such an enlightening article! I just love it when something like this hits home...in an unending search for self-improvement...but now, not perfectionism!