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The Special Place in Hell….
Featured Author:
Kerrie Halmi
Kerrie Halmi of Halmi Performance Consulting specializes in increasing women’s success in business through speaking, coaching and facilitation. Kerrie has over fifteen years of experience in the Human Resources field with such clients as eBay, Bank of America and Kaiser. She received her MBA from the University of Michigan and is certified in coaching with Corporate Coach University International.
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Kerrie Halmi | Excelle
What are some reasons for damaging competition?
•A theory called “Power Dead Even Rule”: women tend to want to stay on equal footing with other women, as opposed to men who prefer a hierarchical structure. When a woman violates the Power Dead Even Rule by getting a promotion, some women get upset and will try to sabotage her.
•A belief that there is only room for a few women at the top:
•Women have closer and more personal relationships at work than men. At first glance, this might seem like a reason not to have damaging competition. But when two women get too close, it can lead to more trouble and feelings of betrayal when there is conflict.
•Women are frequently socialized that their interactions are personal, whereas boys/men are more likely to learn to depersonalize a competitive interaction, thus making it easier for them to compete with others. This extends into the workplace where disagreement is healthy when dealt with properly.
•Feelings of insecurity when one feels like a token minority whose competence is in question. When some people are insecure, their reaction is to try to bring others down.
•Women need to help other women, as opposed to hurting them.
What can we do to stop this damaging competition?
• Be aware that it does occur.
• Ensure you’re not engaging in it or having it done to you.
• Address conflict directly — disagreement can be healthy and productive, provided it is dealt with properly.
• Consciously work to help other women succeed. The laws of professional karma dictate that you will benefit as well.
• If this topic does not apply to you at all, be aware of whether it is happening among other women in your company. Be a mentor and help them to recognize the situation and deal with it head on.
Indianmaiden
8 months ago
12896 comments
Its such a harsh world out there All of us women should unite and help each other to succede not tear each other down.
Cheri
MagicMarketing
8 months ago
290 comments
I AGREE....if you gossip sty away from me!
Verdaria
8 months ago
32 comments
When I was a paralegal in the 90s I experienced this a lot.The nonprofit world is also staffed by a lot of women as it's considered another "traditionally female field." My recent venture has been into the world of real estate.I don't see as many women here - even though I heard claims that there are a lot of women in real estate.There may be a lot of short term players, part timers, etc. But I don't see that level of infantility in real estate, as it's commission driven. The caddy highschoolers don't last in this business with all that nonsense - they are not payed a salary to bs on the phone with friends and surf the Net.The ones at the top play the game like men and are safe to work with and work under.
Petsitter
about 1 year ago
2 comments
I left a good job (pay, benefits, boss) because of all the caddy, gossiping, "7th grade behavior" that female coworkers felt inclined to inflict on anyone (female) that didn't suit their mood that day. What about focusing on their own business and work. That is what you work for, isnt it??? They clearly had too much time on their hands and no life outside the corporate walls.
bluesea
about 1 year ago
24 comments
I agree with your points.. it's high time women change this attitude and start helping each other
Account Removed
about 1 year ago
This is so true ladies have a bad tendency of tearing each other down. It would be wonderful if we could help each other instead of thinking there is room for only one woman’s light to shine.
ImBossay
about 1 year ago
104 comments
Seriously, ladies, let's step up and help each other. Not because is it women banning vs men but because helping each other goes further in the long run than short term bitching.