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All Mentors Are Not Created Equal

Featured Author:

Renee Weisman

Renee Weisman, owner of Winning at Work, charted new territory as one of the first woman engineers, managers, executives and working mothers in the male-dominated semiconductor industry. Over her 40 years in education and industry, she learned to make gender differences work for her — and teaches others how to do the same. She is a frequent speaker at corporations and conferences around the US. She teaches classes tailored to enhance women in their careers and to enable male managers to better understand how to capitalize on the differences between men and women in business. She is the author of Winning in a Man’s World and 5 Ways to Get a Man to Listen. Add her to your Excelle network!

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• 10 Tips to Always Get What You Want
• How Did She Land a Job So Fast?
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Has your career stalled? Do you want to try something new and don’t know where to start? Do you have a problem at work that you need to talk to someone about? Do you wonder if there’s something more you should be doing to get promoted? Are you struggling with work life balance?

When I go to conferences and others ask these questions, I hear so many trainers advise, “Get a Mentor” as if that’s all it takes. Yes, mentoring can help you get out of that rut but all mentors are NOT created equal.

When I was a new engineer in a largely male industry, I was called into the site general manager’s office. (He was at least 5 levels above my manager). He informed me that he had decided to become my mentor. Since this was over 30 years ago, I had no concept of what mentoring was and asked, “OK, so what does that mean?” He looked blankly at me and answered, “I’m not sure but if you have any questions, come see me”. Any questions I did have seemed much too minor to bring to someone at that level and I never went back.

As I became a manager and then a middle manager, I became a mentor to many new and experienced engineers and managers. Since people were coming to me for advice, I assumed I didn’t need to be mentored. Then one of my employees was going through a difficult situation that I had little experience with and she sought the assistance of a mentor in another division. The advice she received was excellent and was something I had never considered. It made me think, “Maybe it’s time for me to get a mentor. “

It took several tries to find the “right” person but thankfully, I found her. She helped me recognize that I had to take some risks to move on, helped me redefine my goals, invited me to appropriate business meetings to expand my network, and ultimately sponsored me for opportunities. I am convinced that without this mentoring I would never have become an executive or been appointed a “distinguished engineer”, a highly regarded position in the company. As my career developed in new directions, I added additional mentors.

Do you have the right mentor? If you’re not sure, I suggest asking yourself some questions:

• Are you getting advice that makes sense for you and fits what you need?
• Does your mentor challenge you to do more than you think you could?
• Does your mentor facilitate, advocate, and advise?
• Will your mentor allow you to “do it your way” as opposed to “following in his or her footsteps”?
• Does your mentor help you network and meet others who can assist you?
• If you needed support, would your mentor sponsor you?

If the answer to these questions is no, then you haven’t found the right mentor. Start your search. Look for someone who is close enough in experience (perhaps 2 levels above yours) to relate to you but not so close that you limit yourself. Look for someone you admire who is good at the things you need to improve upon or who has overcome problems similar to the ones you have experienced. If at all possible, look for someone outside your management chain. If you are in business for yourself or a smaller firm, search outside the company for someone who might have overcome similar issues.

All mentors are NOT created equal. More likely than not, it’ll take a few tries to find the right one, but when you do, you will achieve more than you ever expected you could.

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