My Experience With The Corporate Boy's Club
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June 07, 2008
So...having been the only female executive at the VP or C-level in several companies, I can tell you it's a weird experience. Not a bad experience, mind you, but weird nonetheless. It does happen to be very helpful if you enjoy the occasional cigar and fart joke (I do immensely). Most likely, you will work as hard to become a member of the executive "boy's club" as you ever worked at your real job. However, if you persevere, you can become the "safe" one who is confided in and included in all sorts of executive boy's club escapades.
Now - the downside is interesting, and you really don't notice it until you've been in that role for several years. Executive men are "cut some slack" because they are the primary breadwinners with wives and children at home to support. Executive women with children are "cut some slack" because it's expected that they will take time off occasionally for sick children and other household issues. But single executive women? No slack. In the beginning, this is exciting because you get ALL the good projects, and you are thought of first for lots of new initiatives. After a period of a few years however, if you don't guard against it, you will be working 80 hours a week, with no home life, an unhappy partner, and teetering on burnout. And the challenge is, when you attempt to "pare back" at the office, you don't get a lot of understanding from the executive boy's club. After all - in THEIR eyes - what ELSE do you have to do? You're not married, so you don't have a "real" family or life!
So...my advice to you, my young friends, would be to maintain your own identity OUTSIDE of work, starting early in your career. For "Type A" people like me, this is much easier said than done! A huge part of my identity used to be tied up with my career. It was hard NOT to do this, because I had a very successful career at a fairly young age. However...when things happen to take a "dip" at work (and they always will - at some point), and you have 99% of your identity tied up in your career, you have set yourself up for some potential esteem issues. I admit I still struggle with this at times even now. Make sure not to neglect seeing your family, even during periods where you have a ton of projects due. MAKE yourself make time for the things you used to enjoy - if you enjoy golf but don't have time to play every week, at least go to the driving range an hit a bucket of balls. Just make sure you don't allow yourself to be sucked dry emotionally by your job. Keep a little something for yourself...!
Phyllis R. Neill, www.shementor.com
