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How to Overcome Discouragement
Featured Author:
Crystal Hernandez
Crystal Hernandez is a marriage and family therapist with over 16 years in the behavioral health field, with a special interest in women’s issues. The founder of Relating Today, a relational education and coaching business, Crystal is a trained instructor in the Couple Communication Program, which teaches skills of talking, listening, and resolving conflicts. She writes about managing life, marriage, relationships, and — yes — work.
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Crystal Hernandez | Excelle
October 01, 2008
Who hasn’t seen one of the old classic movies wherein the main character or someone with him ends up stepping down into quicksand? What’s the one thing they tend to do first? They panic. Most of us have a visceral reaction to a sudden or unexpected encounter with an unknown experience.
Geologists tell us that quicksand rarely claims the life of a person being only a few feet deep. In fact, your body will float if you allow yourself to relax. With quicksand, the ground becomes liquefied because of an oversaturation of water. We see it all the time along the beach shoreline. Some sections are packed solid, while others are a bit squishy.
Stepping into quicksand can be a problem, but it becomes a bigger problem only if you panic and began thrashing about which makes it harder for your body to float. Quicksand offers a terrific metaphor for discouragement.
Just as quicksand can be found anywhere with the right conditions, we can encounter discouragement in just about any situation if the conditions are right. It doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. Your thoughts and desires combined create those conditions. In other words, your emotions are a spontaneous response to what you think or want in a given situation.
Climbing out requires the effort to adjust your mind set. Changing your attitude, opinions, and expectations will help you shift or “float” up and out of the quicksand of discouragement.
Take a look at these daunting reasons for never tolerating it:
1. The intensity of discouragement can create a sense of being paralyzed.
2. Discouragement, if intense enough, can be blinding. Seeing your way above it takes tremendous effort.
3. More relationships are destroyed by discouragement than most of us know. If left unchecked, the motivation you need to create a more satisfying relationship will vanish!
4. The irresistible nature of this passion can quickly induce overwhelm. The longer you allow discouragement to linger the more overpowered you’ll began to feel because of it.
Your magnificent ability to think and reason, to choose and act enables you to climb out and stay out of the quicksand of discouragement. Your emotions, no matter how strong, will submit to your thoughts, choices and actions. Are you overwhelmed by discouragement? Ask yourself, “What are you thinking about your situation and what do you want?” Then ask, “What are you willing to do differently?”
gwenv
4 months ago
4 comments
This article hits home for me...I tend to be a perfectionist, and get really discouraged when a project isn't JUST SO on completion. Changing to a positive outlook by re-framing the situation is so powerful and enables me to move on!
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4 months ago
I have the same problem. I am really terrified to speak in public. I tried few times to attend some meetings as consecutive translator. I felt the whole world was breaking and I was in a black deep whole. After two or three attempts I gave up because I was too afraid. Unfortunately, although theoretically I am aware that I can control this fear, in practice I never suceed. So what can I do?
steph897
4 months ago
18 comments
I am the same way, I hate speaking in public.
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about 1 year ago
I apply this article to my fear of public speaking in small settings. Because I allow that discouragment to escalate I start to panic, in turn making it painful for me to get through.