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How to Have a Strong, Vibrant and Lasting Relationship

How to Have a Strong, Vibrant and Lasting Relationship

Dr. Sue Johnson | DivineCaroline

February 05, 2009

So love is illogical, random, and mysterious, yes? Not any more. We have cracked the code. In the last few years, social scientists and therapists who practice emotionally focused therapy (or EFT) have made a breakthrough. Now, at the beginning of the twenty-first century, we have a map to this passion, this fever that has baffled poets and lovers all through human history.

Here is some of what we know:


1. We are born to need each other. The human brain is wired for close connection with a few irreplaceable others. Accepting your need for this special kind of emotional connection is not a sign of weakness, but maturity and strength.

So don’t feel ashamed of this need for a safe loving bond.

2. In love relationships emotional hurt is a mixture of anger, sadness but most of all, fear. Fear of being abandoned, and rejected. This hurt registers in the same part of our brain as physical hurt. It is too hard to push these feelings aside or ignore them. The first step to dealing with injuries in love is to pinpoint the feeling and then to send clear messages about this hurt to the one you love

So don’t just “ignore hurts” with the idea that they will up and go away.

3. The strongest among us are those who can reach for others. Love is the best survival strategy of all. We all long for a safe haven love relationship. Self-sufficiency is just another word for loneliness.

So risk reaching out and fighting for this safe haven. It is the best investment you’ll ever make.

4. Relationships can survive partners being very different. Even if you think you are from different planets it’s okay. The one thing love can’t survive is constant emotional disconnection. Conflict is often less dangerous for your love than distance.

So after a fight, put it right. Repair it, heal the rift between you.

Continue reading on the next page

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    staceybruno45

    about 1 month ago

    2 comments

    I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

  • 999516_327629234038828_1665407575_n_max50

    sandraluis553

    about 1 month ago

    4 comments

    Dear friends, my name is Sandra Luis from Canada, i am into business,but it was not bringing out profit as it was supposed to, life was not what living cos things was bad for me financially, i have a beautiful wife with four kids to take care off. i sold my car and most of my property just to keep earns mate and still things was not going easily for me. so i complained to a friend of mine who said he knew a powerful spell caster from Africa called Dr ATILA who can perform magical money spell or good luck or automatic promotion in office, making someone love you back, spells to bring close one in jail or lost back home,healing spell etc.that help straightened his brother life from taking hard drugs. At first i was confused and doubtful, then i decided to give a try and did what Dr ATILA told me to do, to my surprise 3 days later things started going well for me, i got what i ever bargained for, my business was flourishing like never before, i now have enough money to take good care of my family and we are living happily,I thank His greatness .atilahealinghome@yahoo.com for bringing my source to hope and joy with his powerful spell,well if you want to be a living testimony like me or interested in any spell casting you can contact Dr ATILA via this email atilahealinghome@yahoo.com

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    mullarsharron1366087

    2 months ago

    4 comments

    Hi everyone act there.. my name is MULLAR SHARRON I AM FROM GERMANY i will never forget the help DR.TRUST render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how dr.trust help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of dr.trust i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr.trust a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using dr.trust to save my marriage. contact him via (ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OR ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM) tel +2348156885231

  • Uuuuu_max50

    mullarsharron1366087

    2 months ago

    4 comments

    Hi everyone act there.. my name is MULLAR SHARRON I AM FROM GERMANY i will never forget the help DR.TRUST render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how dr.trust help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of dr.trust i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don't you give Dr.trust a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using dr.trust to save my marriage. contact him via (ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OR ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM) tel +2348156885231

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    ColbertJustin

    2 months ago

    2 comments

    A love spell was done by robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com and it worked very FAST and the result was effective. Mr Robinson was the ONLY spell caster who i had success with, i tried ALMOST EVERY spell caster to restore my relationship and i was disappointed by ALL OF THEM. None of them worked. except the spell of Mr Robinson, you can call Mr Robinson + 19715126745 for help and he will not let you down

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Ellielyra

    2 months ago

    2 comments

    Dr Lawrence saved my marriage within 3days of contact,i contacted him in regards of my husband who left me for another woman i tried all the methods i know to get him back but to no avail then a good friend of mine Mrs maria introduce me to drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com who cast a powerful and wonderful spell that brought him back to me in just 3days i really want to use this medium to advice that for solution regarding any relationship issues : drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com is always there to help you out . ELLIE LYRA

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    sandra32

    6 months ago

    18 comments

    I appreciate all you have done for myself and my family. My name is harry and after contacting so many fake spell casters that only played with my heart you´d got what I wanted: my family back. Your sincere kindness and thoughtfulness inspires me. You have touched my heart deeply and I will forever be grateful that you got rid of all the negative influences that surrounded my wife and I. Now we are back and my son is very happy again, with his parents together... Thanks Ekaka ekakaspelltemple@yahoo.com all my gratefulness

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    LisaRabiye

    6 months ago

    2 comments

    Marriage/Relationship Approval Spell from dr.marnish is amazing and worked very well for me. dr.marnish@yahoo.com solved my Relationship problem just in 3 days. I hope to work with dr.marnish again in the nearest future, if you need help call him +15036626930
    Lisa Rabiye

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    BETHKYLIE

    8 months ago

    2 comments

    I want to give thanks to the great doctor Lawrence who help me in getting back my ex-boyfriend i saw a testimony post by miss Kate from Spain about how the great doctor Lawrence had helped her, i decide to email him and to my greatest surprise my ex-boyfriend came back to me after three days of contacting him.i simply want to say thanks for what he had done for me and am so happy may he live long. if you have any problem just email him :drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com and you will not regret contacting him.

  • Img_4580_max50

    relationshipdj

    almost 2 years ago

    2 comments

    I used to say that I wouldn't date someone that has different area code with me then my girl had to move away for school. I am actually finding long distance relationship work for us. We were boyfriend/girlfriend before she left now we are engaged to be married
    One key important thing I see that help in our long distance relationship is completely supporting one another. The biggest thing is to be going through something while you are away and your partner is not backing you up. We find it so difficult nowadays for people believe in long distance or difficult for others to cope with it since they don’t know what to do. We even started our own site as part of our way to cope with relationship.
    We are now engaged to be married at the end of this year. It has not been a walk in the park however we made it work.
    http://www.relationshipdj.com/our-relationship-story-long-distance-relationship-story/

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    JennySuperstar

    almost 4 years ago

    2 comments

    I think that blow jobs are the most important thing when it comes to keeping a guy. seriously! ive just read jacks blowjob lessons (here's a link: http://www.jacksblowjoblessons.com/ ) and i my husband fell in love with me like that again

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Account Removed

    about 5 years ago

    I have the best partner on the planet, but this article was very informative and we do have to work a little harder on communication, but we are both pretty mature emotionally and will talk as needed!

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Account Removed

    over 5 years ago

    I am definately following this in my new relationship.

  • 4x5hermandez_016_max50

    ChrisMar

    over 5 years ago

    184 comments

    So many terrific pointers in this one article!

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    rtdl9353

    over 5 years ago

    18 comments

    I like number 9 keep the passion

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