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5 Reasons You Need Your Girlfriends
Featured Author:
Tania Khadder
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November 12, 2009
I know this is a loaded statement, but here goes: I have always said that I don’t trust women who don’t have female friends.
You know the type — the girl who spends her time exclusively with men. She thinks women are catty (women other than her, of course). For some inexplicable reason, other women just don’t like her. And she can’t, for the life of her, figure out why (unless it’s that they’re just jealous or something). But I’m guessing you have a pretty good idea.
Women need other women. Female friends enrich our lives and make us better people. Even when you’ve got a boyfriend, a fiance, a husband, children or — if you’re lucky — a gay best friend, your friendships with other women are crucial. They’re important emotionally, physically, spiritually … even professionally (ahem, Excelle!). And in case you need a reminder, here’s why:
1. Women get you.
Sure, you have things in common with both genders — we’re all human, after all. But with other women, you share experiences that are exclusively female. Menstrual cramps, childbirth, and an X chromosome, to name some of the most basic. What about boy trouble, tricky mother-daughter relationships, gender discrimination, or a childhood obsession with glitter (or was that just me)? Of course, every woman will have unique life experiences, but it’s hard to dismiss the fact that there are certain themes that unite us. Your girlfriends will get it when you just need a good cry. They’ll understand the delicate balancing act of being a
working mother. They’ll appreciate your excitement at finding the perfect pair of jeans. And that’s priceless.
2. They make better best friends
Okay, maybe not better. But possibly deeper. More meaningful. Longer lasting. Studies have shown that men are more fickle and calculating about who they stay friends with, whereas women tend to stick together through the good and bad. Women also work harder to maintain friendships. A Manchester University survey concluded that 47% of women contact their best friend on a daily basis, compared to 36% of men. The study also showed that men were more likely to base their friendships on activities (like drinking!) whereas women tended to base their friendships more on face-to-face interaction.
MsDEsq
over 1 year ago
2 comments
There is good and bad in everyone-- men and women. Just be with people who are kind and loving, whether they are women or men. And as for the woman who has no female friends-- why not befriend her instead of attacking her? It sounds to me like she is someone who could use a friend. :)
CarolTeresa
about 2 years ago
8 comments
Ouch, that isn't true for all of us women. A women can have men friends and girl friends. Men are more to the point where women like to have drama.
Account Removed
about 2 years ago
Wow, way to generalize.. maybe I don't feel comfortable about other women because they can seem so cliquey and distrustful of outsiders, and make sweeping judgements like you do. If anyone sounds catty here, it's the author.
Scrosthwaite1
about 2 years ago
12 comments
For the longest time - I had all guy friends. I just never felt like I connected with other girls. As I've gotten older - the few acquaintances I've had, turned into my closest girlfriends ever. & I also have a few gay guy close friends as well. Lol - One of my gay friends was always so good about finding me tops, because I have rather large bust and a small frame. Anyway - gold star for having girlfriends. They are your back bone.
sassej1
over 2 years ago
2 comments
i think girlfriends are great to have also but my best guy friend is way more of a friend and more honest then any of my girlfriends.
Account Removed
over 2 years ago
Girlfriends really ARE good to have! Just make sure you choose your close ones carefully.
DeAnn
over 2 years ago
2 comments
I'm not sure if men believe they really do need us women
steffie
over 2 years ago
2 comments
I have one male best friend, and he is my go-to when I need the honest objective opinion from a mans perspective. I love my girls to death and they play their part in my life too. I think it's nice if you have both.
sdryer
over 2 years ago
10 comments
re dcmcqueen: ..."Men will totally stab you in the back a million times, sdryer! There's nothing in the world that says men or women make better friends. It's personal experience that jades us." You are right, personal experience does jade us (I prefer "influences us"). I have just never had a close male friend betray or hurt me, I have had that experience with women. I'm not saying that applies to all women friends I may have in the future, but it definitely makes me gun-shy about trusting any as good friends. Women will talk behind your back to other women. Men won't do that; they can't be bothered. I do have a few female friends, but they are in no way best friends.
Account Removed
over 2 years ago
Oh, and all of that said, I count a number of men as my closest friends, too. But there are certainly problems that come along with being friends with guys that don't happen with women (just as there are in the reverse). People are problematic creatures, aren't they? ;)
Account Removed
over 2 years ago
michelle - I also have a hard time trusting women who refuse to make female friends. I can only speak from my own personal experience, but when someone says something like "I relate better to guys because they aren't [insert personality trait here]," or "Women always do/are [insert personality trait here]," they are being misogynistic. I wouldn't be friends with a misogynistic guy, why give a woman a pass. It's almost MORE offensive when women say these things, because they are failing to recognize the very powerful difference in how men and women relate with each other, and the benefits of those differences. I'd always give them a chance, but when they flat out make those statements they are already telling ME they don't want to be my friend, so why bother?
Laur
over 2 years ago
52 comments
It seems like common sense to me that a woman might be put off by any woman who has no other female friends... Most women I know have a female best friend, or at least a healthy balance of both. Honestly, the only woman I know who doesn't have any female friends is a nasty, nasty person.
vvaughn
over 2 years ago
16 comments
That's why it's a "loaded statement." Duh!
michellemybellct
over 2 years ago
6 comments
My view is NOT close minded-- actually the opposite. My point is that we all have different personalities- different likes and dislikes- perspectives and feelings.
I do not judge someone for whom they are comfortable with in friendship.
I am not a hater "for some inexplicable reason".
And let me correct you-- I stated "Four very close best girlfriends". I did not say my CLOSEST friends are female so lets not take that out of context. My closest friend happens to be a male.
Whats problematic is the way these women act toward other women-- not just me-- its factual as I have viewed it and heard many other women complain about it.
The DIFFERENCE is-- I have not generalized and judged a person by who she keeps as friends. I leave that to the close-minded people who can't get to know someone for who they are instead of judging and disliking them-- you know for some inexplicable reason. If your going to be a hater, you should be able to put your finger on it. Still haven't heard why these women aren't trustworthy either...
vvaughn
over 2 years ago
16 comments
You said it yourself michelle - all four of your closest friends are female!
Don't you think it's a bit more problematic (sexist) that you say women can't be good friends because they "judge your outfit" or "see pretty women as a threat" and that "men are less judgmental" than the author's assertion that she's wary of women who ONLY get along with men (If they only get along with men, there probably IS something they do to piss off other women and no, it's not that they're too pretty and therefore a threat).
You're view is so closed-minded!