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3 Ways Strong Women Ruin a Relationship

3 Ways Strong Women Ruin a Relationship

Rori Raye | Divine Caroline

June 17, 2010

Are you a woman with a lot going for her in all areas except in love and relationships? Do men stop calling or withdraw after a few dates or tell you they’re not interested or don’t feel the right chemistry with you?

Your intelligence and ambition may have gotten you where you are in your life and career, but are those same qualities intimidating to men?

The truth is that success and independence are actually attractive qualities to a man. Men are not intimidated by smart women. They can, however, be intimidated and turned off by the way you’re relating to him. You may be failing in love because of your energy, not because you’re smart and have your act together.

By Emasculating a Man by Out-Manning Him

One sure way to lose a man’s interest is to make ourselves “smaller” or “less-than” so we don’t intimidate him. We play down our strengths, successes, and abilities because we think that men are competitive and want to be better than we are at everything. It’s simply not true!

If you’re a successful woman, revel in your success and happiness! Run everything at work, be firm, be tough, be managerial and multi-tasking. But when you’re on a date with a man, or at home, or hanging out together, don’t try to run or manage him.

There are subtle ways you may be doing this that completely emasculates a man and makes him feel not only terrible about himself, but turns him away from you. For example, he’ll tell you about a problem he’s having and you say, “You should do this …” or “If I were you, I wouldn’t do that …” This makes him feel managed—like he’s a child and you’re his mother. This isn’t a good feeling for a man. He wants to feel respected and admired, not mothered.

No man wants to be in a relationship with a woman that makes him feel like a child or with a woman who acts very masculine. When you take charge, have opinions about everything—including where you go and what you do—and what you think about him, you are displaying masculine energy.

You can be a doing, thinking, take-charge kind of woman at work, but in your love life, you should be a feeling, being and expressing kind of woman. This relationship enewsletter provides great suggestions for letting him be a man.

You can let a man know what you want and need by simply saying, “I’d like that” or “I don’t want that” or “that would feel good to me.” When he asks you where you’d like to go this weekend, you could say, “It would feel good to me to spend time outside enjoying the sun. I don’t want to stay stuck inside all day.”


Featured Author: DivineCaroline
At DivineCaroline, you’ll be spending time with women who embrace the fact that life isn’t always easy or beautiful or fair. Our dream is to give you a place to come together to express yourselves. What brings you joy. What breaks your heart. Makes you giggle. What pisses you off. Confuses you. Entertains you. What keeps you strong. Check them out here!

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  • Photo_user_blank_big


    almost 4 years ago


    @willwithin and fuschia920 I really feel sorry for the two of you, this is a great article well written and certainly well thought out and I agree with what she is saying, I just feel sorry for the men in your life how miserable they must be. I enjoy being feminine its too bad you cant enjoy your femininity. IF my man wants to take charge I let him and revel in the fact that he is so masculine and takes care of his woman.

  • Monster_max50


    almost 4 years ago


    letting him be a man? and female energy? yikes. who is this author? someone from the 50's? this article is a slap in the face to any woman that calls herself a feminist.

  • Profile_thumb_max50


    almost 4 years ago


    Are you serious? If you're a strong woman, find a man who can handle it. Don't give in to gender stereotypes just because his delicate manhood can't take your success.

    "Let him decide to row and take the boat where he wants it to go." No. You should each have an oar. No one should be making all the relationship decisions, regardless of their gender.

  • Picture_6_max160_max50


    almost 4 years ago


    Good points.

  • Temp_max50


    almost 4 years ago


    I needed to read this. Thanks for the insight!

  • Hpim1902_max50


    almost 4 years ago


    Simple...treat him the way you would want to be treated...he is not a pet or project...just let go...

  • Photo_user_blank_big

    Account Removed

    almost 4 years ago

    Doesn't all of this come down to "don't be a jerk?" The way you ruin a relationship is the same, regardless of gender or type of relationship: by lack of communication, poor listening skills, lack of respect, and an imbalance in power.

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