Excelle

In this day and age, many women are starting to approach men they are interested in instead of waiting for the man to initiate the first move. The following seems to be a few of the methods of approach commonly used as provided by Columnist Advice Chick.

1. Paying a man a sincere compliment.

2. Men usually smell good when they are at the clubs or the bar. Ask him the name of the fragrance he is wearing.

3. When at a party, ask him to dance.

4. At a club, ask the waitress to bring you a glass (or bottle) of whatever he's drinking. Then, deliver it to him and say, "Special Delivery especially from me, to you!"

5. Walk up to him, flash those pearly whites, extend your hand, and say “Hi! I'm [insert your name here].

6. Give him an "Intro-Card!" What's an intro-card, you ask? They're personal cards printed with a space for your name and telephone number on the front. On the back, there's a space for brief notes. Write a cute little note on the back of the card.

The question is from a male perspective when can aggressiveness be considered too much? Do any of the methods above seem abrasive to you?

Agreed. While I appreciate knowing being aggressive at times can be helpful, approaching a dude with an "into-card" may send an odd signal. One that says, " Not only do I plan everything, but I have to work so hard to get a date, I get cards made to help me out."
I guess I figure cell phones have eliminated the use of the, oh so distant pen and paper.

Honestly, if a guy can't dance/doesn't want to dance after someone asks him(because everyone, when stripped of a certain amount of self consciousness can dance, sort of) then it says one of the following:

1. He's a wimp
2. He's not interested

Either way, it's a good way to screen.
If you want to dance, and you see a guy you'd like to dance with, I think it's a great, assertive move.

I am not much of a dancer myself so I probably won't attempt number 3. Lol. 6 seems like a controlled interaction to me besides verbal communication is better. 1, 2, and 5 seem like great ice breakers especially if you are charming and can get the person to smile. Now 4 I could try but not with every guy I see, especially if I haven't made any initial eye contact with him.

I used to try to meet men in bars/clubs when I was in my teens and 20s. Some of this advice I followed, some not. Now, at 38, I don't see men my age there. The ones my age and older are there to meet younger women. In the New York City area and its nearby boroughs, the ratio of women per men is like 10 women for 1 guy. Both the fact that men my age are there to meet younger girls and the ratio really doesn't encourage me to approach them. I give them hints, make eye contact and smile. If that doesn't draw them to approach me, I really don't bother.Seriously. If someone is 40 something and a bar fly then he's not for me. This whole bar/club scene is so played out and passe here in New York that it's not even funny or cute anymore. It has a tendency to get kind of ugly. I keep it low key in the rare occasions, and go to higher end places as they're safer.