Excelle

Been there and done that! I went a little psycho though I think. I look back at it now and it seems so stupid to go that nuts over a man but for real, at the time your heart is ripped into so many parts its hard to even tell if its all still there! Girl, I feel for you!  I would not wish that pain on anyone. I know this sounds cliche, but what dont break you will make you stronger and obviously what he was in your life to teach you, has been learned. He was not meant to stay and there will be someone who will be. Feel this pain girl, remember how this feels, but dont carry it with you for long. Give yourself time to grieve and let it go! That man is not worth anymore of your time and energy.

As far as the kids, I hope that even though he was not man enough to keep it in his pants that he will be man enough to stay involved in his childrens life.

You are with a group of women that will support you with whatever! If you need to talk or even just vent....send me a message and i get back to you as soon as I can

Marti!

I have this ability to say "Screw this!!" too easily. I draw my lines, and that is that. If I found out a man was cheating on me, and I have, I simply end the relationship no matter how hard it is. It is rarely that easy, but I never back down. I don't give a damn about love if it is not reciprocated enough that the man would respect my ideals of a relationship.

After that, I stop caring about what happens to his love life. After all, it is none of my concern.

I have a very "take no crap from anyone at any time" attitude, so this is the best reflection of what I can give you on what my thoughts would be.

I'd have to say I'd have a bit of guilty pleasure too. =P

majesticmarti says ...

OH...LOL! I feel like an ass! ok yeah. But it would really make me much happier to see a woman do it to him...as far as him doing the same thing to her...I would expect that he would!  It makes no sense to expect anything different.

RealEstateLady says ...

I don't think I was making myself clear with this thread, I was just wondering if the wife of the ex had gotten any satifaction from seeing another woman come along and make her feel the hurt (the woman that stole your husband- she could have been your very best friend, sister secretary, etc.) that you felt when she took him away from you! (I always come up with case studies of what if's or how would it make you feel??) Me personally would never put up with that from no man! I just wanted to hear feedback from some other ladies LOL!!

I could see a woman feeling some serious satisfaction at her ex doing the same thing he did to her to the woman he left her for.  Woman # 2 probably thought she was special to win him from woman #1 only to find out that she is not and that he is actually truly the pig that #1 claimed him to be.

The idea that he did it to you but would never do it to me is a sad ailment amongst women being used to do the cheating.  What is that dillusion based on?  Why do some women think they are somehow immune to being cheated on and/or abandoned specially when chosing to be with a man who has a track record for doing just that?

I'll be honest and unashamed here.  I absolutely 100% love it, when the Universe shows me what karma is all about.  I know I deserve it when something comes back on me, and in this situation, if he cheated on her as well.  Thank you.

Unfortunately I know alot on this subject because this happened to me almost 1 year ago. The date I first learned he was cheating on me was Sept. 19, 2007.  Wow, I've come along way since then. I can actually talk about it without wanting to vomit. First I will say to you, and only because I live through it, the pain does get easier. It doesn't go away but there does come a day when you wake up and the first thing on your mind is not him and her. Unbelievable? I thought so too but it happens.

My story is he didn't leave me for her, rather he wanted time to figure things out. I gave him two months, begging on knees and crying my eyes out to let it just be us again and our 3 children. Well I finally left. I've been through hell and back and into hell again.

Its like someone ripped your heart from your chest and stomped on it continuesly. The pain was worse than I've ever experienced. But I survived and all the woman who have gone through this or are going through this WILL SURVIVE!

I only say these things because I've been through it. I smile now, real geniune smiles. I laugh and joke. There are days that it still hits me but when it does I remember how I couldn't even function and I'd be damned if I go down that road again. No man is worth it. I am a strong, independant woman, who is worthy of all that I desire and you must believe that yourself. No one can take that away from. He broke my heart, but he didn't break me!

God Bless all of you that are going through this. Everyday is a new chapter in my life.

thanks for listening.

rosalia351

mzbrown says ...

I have a cousin who slept with another cousins man, both of them have kids by him...and the one he's with now, is always complaining about the things he does...what the hell you complaining for...when you knew he was a trifling, no good for nothing cheat when you call yourself stealing him in the first place!

LOL  I totally understand this!!  When my ex decided to give my stuff away i made him go away and it hurt like hell but when the other girl...a few down the road came to me for advice all i could do was laugh. i didnt want to be rude but i couldnt help it. she was my friend before all of that and she was dumb enough to go there anyway. I dont feel bad for her or any one else who thinks they can change someone like that....LOL

She can have him!  I agree with Stgreg!

jocs05 says ...

hello everyone!i am going through hell right this very moment.my husband started having an affair beginning of this year.at first he told me she is just a friend but eventually i found out that they are having an affair.he even made her stay in my mother in laws condo when she came here for a visit.the other woman is a flight attendant.from that first visit,that whore made sure she comes back almost every month and in fact shes here right now.my husban got so mad because i hacked his computer files and thats where i got all their pictures and videos.then april came and he told me that theyre over until i found an extra cell phone kept in his gym bag.he confessed hes still seeing her.i made him choose and all he said is he wants out and its all my fault.i was so hurt.our baby just turned 1yr old last july.i want to call the whore,email her but i told myself im not going to stoop down on her level.i just hope that they will get their share someday for all the pain they caused me and my kids.now im just waiting for the result of our divorce.he still comes home on the weekends but dont really give me much for the expenses.in fact he is mad that i want child support.if he could have just been a man enough to tell me his problem get out of the marriage before starting an affair,money wont be a problem.but since he got no balls to sit down and talk,then ill get whatever i can get.the whore can have him and all his debts.all i want now is for things to be over,move on and have a peaceful life with my kids.but right now it really hurts.....

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.  Rest assured, things like this don't happen without retribution.  They will suffer for their indiscretions and lack of morals.  You just focus on loving that baby and making sure he is held responsible for coparenting as well as child support.  Take some time out to treat yourself now and then too.  Get a babysitter and just go for a walk or whatever relaxes and rejunenates you.

I've been in both sides of the situation. I have been in a relationship where my man was cheating on me with everybody from my friends from way back all the way to my enemy. I know how it feels espcially to be in love with somebody and that other person not reciprocate the feeling back. It hurts everytime the person, or everytime I got cheated on whether it was the very first time or the tenth time. I know I sound stupid for giving the guy chance after chance, but young and in love I thought I could make it work. The whole love conquers all type of attitude.

Then I've been the other woman. I have been in two serious relationships and in both of them I've been cheated on and the other woman. I know it was wrong but once again I was in high school and college so I had the mindset of well if I can't have all of him then I'll take whatever I can get. It hurts being the other woman. Sometimes I think it hurts worse than being cheated on because being the other woman I had to watch him go be with his girlfriend or whoever else and it was a hard thing to swallow at the end of the day knowing he was going home to her. I would like to say that I applaud the women who can cut a relationship off it takes a lot of strangth and I have a hard time letting go after I am attached

 I agree karma is a bitch, she will bite you on the arse if you leave yourself open to it. I also believe that there are some humans that simply cannot remain faithful to one person, should these marry? probably not, it is just going to be a repeat of a repeat of a repeat. My best advise is allow yourself to sit on the pity pot for a bit, then do the paper work, get up and exact your revenge. That revenge has been spoken for many many years.... "Live well and live long" in other words, allow yourself to overcome the hurt and even hatred, and then allow yourself to be happier than you have ever been in your life, and of course it doesn't hurt if the ex should happen to see that you are ever so much happier without him. Lets face it, people that cheat that way, are rarely if ever truly happy and content. They always seem to be in a state of unrest. That is to be pitied in the long run for they try to find happiness in all the wrong places, they look for thier happiness in others instead of looking inward and drawing on their own.

Hi! Everyone I'm new to this one but i kind of understand where everyone is coming from because i to have a husband...well i guess you can say fiance who is cheating on me. I'm not quite sure on how to confront him or even if i should confront him about the situation. Because it always seems like no matter how much you ask for the truth and you go through all the talks and arguements your never going to get the truth. I guess i just want to know how, how do you know when to hold'em and when to fold'em??

Hi! Everyone I'm new to this one but i kind of understand where everyone is coming from because i to have a husband...well i guess you can say fiance who is cheating on me. I'm not quite sure on how to confront him or even if i should confront him about the situation. Because it always seems like no matter how much you ask for the truth and you go through all the talks and arguements your never going to get the truth. I guess i just want to know how, how do you know when to hold'em and when to fold'em??::::

Let me ask you this, will you be able to trust him. Will you be able to forgive him. If you are going to wonder everytime the phone rings, everytime he says he's going to the store or to hang out with "friends" and you know you won't be able to deal with that, then you will just be torturing yourself. Without trust you don't have much . . . . . .I think some guys are stupid and fix their ways and then you have others. No one will be able to tell yo what to do, some will say make him pay, others will say take him back. The best payback is staying with him, making it work and he stops cheating (hmmm) or leaving him because you are worth more, doing better with your life and yourself and showing him that yes he was part of your world but not your whole world .