Excelle

Counseling will help if you both are committed to meeting the other's needs and learning how to do so without sacrificing your own comfort. If you enter counseling wanting the therapist to tell him he needs to put you (your relationship) first, it may not be effective. He he enters wanting the therapist to tell you to let him do what he enjoys doing, the same deal.

Many men believe that by doing their best at what they do best ensures that they can provide for those that are most important to them [you]. Providing is what many men want to do. They feel it is their responsibility and they take pride in being successful at doing it.

What would happen if you planned a weekend get away and asked him to be home at a certain time because you are going to spend the weekend together. What would happen if you made the dinner reservation and asked him to be home by a certain time so that you can go on a date. What would happen if you asked him to ask for/take a week off in June to go to Europe.

What is most important is to understand each other's motives, accept each other's over sights and work together to put 'us' first. Not all men are Life Time Movie Network romtics, most men are real hunters and gatherers. They are providers and that is what they are good at. Help him succeed at putting 'us' first. Don't penalize him for not doing what you want him to do.