Excelle

I am not proud of my actions but I got into a fist fight with my sister days before we laid to rest our eldest brother.  Our brother was disagnosed with cancer of the colon, stomach and liver and it was terminal.  He was in the hospital for three days for tests and then checked himself out and came home to die.  He died nine days later.  First off he was a great guy, a Nam vet and he had a drinking problem.  He had lived with me off and on since I was 16 and I'm 47 now this month.  We were very close and he was a free spirit.  He had made it very clear that he wanted a traditional funeral and the life insurance policy covered the burial with only $975 left to pay.  My sister after he died wanted to go against his last wishes and cremate him and I stoood my ground and said no.  She refused to go to the funeral home with the rest of the family to finalize the funeral and then complained later how she got nothing she wanted.  I told her this was not about what she wanted but about our brother.  Well, we started yelling at each other in the yard and I walked inside the house to talk to our mother and our second eldest brother when she came in swearing and ranting and raving.  I finally lost it and slapped her across her face and she took her fingernails down both sides of my face and broke my glasses.  I dont remember much after that but was told that I punched her in the eye with my left fist, she grapped my hair and the fight was on.  I guess she continued to pull hair and claw and I kept punching her in the face and it took four people to pull me off.  I was so angry that I walked nearly seven miles in the dark mosquito night.  The next day was our brother's wake.  It was very hard to deal with and I spent alot of time outside greeting family and friends and my sisiter and I just skirted each other.  The next day I caught her outside and I appoligised for slapping her and hugged her and told her that it must have been the stress and the high emotions that made us act that way.  Later I found out she had never told her husband or daughter about our fight so they learned about it at the funeral.  All this happened in a three day time period.  We found out our eldest brother was dying and 12 days later he was gone.  He died on July 8th, the wake was July 10th and the funeral was July 11th. As I said I was not proud of my actions.

Hello! I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with Belc in that you had something so difficult happen in such a short time, plus you had your sister's attitude and negative actions to deal with. IMHO, it's much easier to get in a fight like that with a close friend or family member - especially when there are alot of emotions involved. If I were in that situation, I don't know if it would escalate to that point, but I know that I would be very mad if my sister were behaving like that!

God Bless. I'll be keeping you in my thougths and prayers.

 I am so sorry for your loss of a dear brother, I can totally empathize with how you felt and reacted. I have not actually came to blows in a similar situation, but that is only because someone who loves me and can read my body language was holding me back, almost forcefully come to think of it. I am very passionate in the rights of the dying and I do come out of my corner when someone I care about is having their wishes ignored. Thank you for sharing something so very painful for you.

I have never gotton into a fight at a funeral. I am sorry for your loss. People behave differently under duress and uncomfortable circumstances. It sounds to me that you were verbally provoked. Next of kin-blood or not-never cease to amaze me and I have witnessed some things recently that are abhorent as well, while one of" non-bloods "relative's lies dying-gracefully, if you will, in a hospice. The verbal abuse was shocking directed at me( because I was ill w/flu?!! and started to faint at home) These behaviors do not make sense to me and seem on the edge of the specrum of human behavior. Look, things happen and the fact that she did not verbalize after the fact sends a signal. Next time just leave the room and pray for people like that.Forgive yourself, please. You made amends....