Excelle

I used to weigh 240 pounds aqt 5'5".  I now weigh 132 a good weight for me.  I stopped drinking soda that for a 20 once bottle is 240 calories.  I cut down on ice cream and fatty foods, ate lots of salads, veggies and fruits and started walking daily.  It has taken me a little over a year to lose the weight.  At the same time I quit smoking.  I don't eat any special diet foods or sugar sweeteners, just cut back alot..

I had thought that losing weight, stopping smoking and exercising would do nothing but good I was sadly mistaken.  Four months ago I had brain surgery for a canceous brain tumor.  Three and a half months of chemo and radiation has resulted in a bald head, teeth problems and balance problems.  Friday I get the results of all neat treatments and I am scared, really scared.  If the treatments worked that will be a big plus, but if they have not I will have a life expectancy of two years.  I have four year old twin girls, the loves of my life and the thought of not being there for them saddenes me.  My husband who is in the military is now in Iraq for the third time.  I worry about him so much so far away and unable to do anything.  He has been in the army for 19 years and he was going to get out when I got sick but I forbid him.  If something happens he and my girls will need all his retirement benifits.  When I got sick the military was fantasic.  They got on on base housing right away saving us money and putting us real close to the hospital.  I had a living will drawn up and all that and I have life insurance and most of that will go to college funds for the girls.

Life is strange and you must live life to the fullest, love hard and be a good person.

Dana again...

Also, is it possible for your husband to take a (extended) leave of absense? I think it's important that he be with you and the kids at this time. I know that you may have family and friends there for you, but it's not the same as the girls having their Daddy during such a rough time or as you having your husband during this time.

I hope your news is positive. Be well.

GOOD NEWS!!!!  well sort of.  I went to the doctor this morning and my tumor is now the size of a rabbit turd.  I never thought the sound of a rabbit turd as good but I will take it.  I started out with three tumors one the size of a lemon, a lime and the smalled the size of a grape.  I start radiation again next thursday for 8 weeks take two weeks off and then 8 weeks of chemo.  My husband was issued an emergency leave and will be stationed here at the base we currently live at.  He leaves Saturday and should be stateside by Monday..

My hair is just starting to grow into peach fuzz that is real light blond and I normally have dark brown,  My fingernails that used to now grow and now like daggers that I have to cute with toenail cutter but my toenails are not growing.  I lost all my body hair except for one eyebrow which I would up shaving off anyway.  I don't have to shave my legs right now but the skin has become very dry, scaly dry.  So the money I save in shampoo I spend on lotion.

My inlaws took me to the doctors this morning at 8 oclock and we were out at 9 so my father in law insist they take me to breakfast and he ordered me a hot fudge sunday with all the trimmings and one candle on it.  He said we were celebrating my new birth.

Last week before all the test came back my survival rate was at a 33% after today it soared to 88 % rate.  I dread the radiation and the chemo but for me they have been lifesavers.

This is great, my days and nights somehow got turned around.  The radiation leaves me feeling drained and I often sleep during the day, then awake at night.  The bright side is I have dinner all done for tomorrow, clean clothes all around and you could eat off my floors.  My husband has been great through all this and it is good to have him home and safe.  My girls start kindergarten soon and it is a whole day program so that will help.  I feel pretty good just so tired and the pain meds for the headaches help keep me sleepy,

I have registered to take two classes at the local community college.  Since I graduated from high school 20 years ago I thought I should take a few brush up courses.  I am taking a math class and an english course.  I am so excited about going back to school but nervous at the same time.  My husband who is a math whiz can be my tutor in math.  While my husbandis a warrior he is also a gentle soul especially around his daughters and me.  Last night after a long day of training he came home and got the girls ready for bed and I marveled at how he said good night and kissed the girls good night and then gave the girls baby dolls each a kiss good night.

I can't help thinking that even with everything that is going on how lucky I am.

Do I think it is OK for you to go bald??? Absolutely

This time, more than any, you have every right to be however you are most comfortable. If you want to wear a wig, do it. If you want to go without, do it. When a friend was going through her cancer treatments, she stopped concerning herself about the comforts of others. She ate indulgent desserts without remorse, she stopped volunteering for things she never wanted to do. She said her cancer gave her the confidence to be selfish and finally think of herself first.

You have my permission to do what you want, wear what you want, go wherever you want. Pie for breakfast with your husband and girls, sounds like an exellent way to spend a morning. Hire a babysitter so you and your husband can do whatever you want for an afternoon, and have fun. Buy that piece of jewlery you have been looking at for months and wear it everyday just because you can. If you don't want to wear anything on your head, don't. If anyone has an issue with it- that is their issue, not yours.  

I just had some harsh words with my sister who went on for nearly an hour about a broken wrist.  She was mad that nobody has stepped up to help her with her two teenage demon children while she recouped from her traumatic injury.  I gently reminded her that tomorrow I start another round of chemo and by the way did she remember I have two 5 years olds and where was she when I needed help.  My husband was in a war zone, dad had a heart attack and I had brain surgery and was fighting for my life.  She was on vacation in Aruba there there was never even a phone call and she is moaning about a broken wrist she got while drunk, well boo hoo sis you have it rough and I feel for you.   I wish I had your worries for awhile, that would be sweet worrying about where and who I was going to party with, whether or not I should hit aruba or maybe tahoe.  You can worry about two little girls who have a mom who is fighting for her life, a husband who could be called to head back to a war zone and dad who is staying with us while he gets better.  You forgot about dad again the man who treated you like a princess and when he needs you, you are not available.  I really like him being around, walking the girls to school, watching cartoons with the girls while I rest.  You know he is a pretty cool old man if you got to know him.  You need to see him before it is too late.  I could care less if you came to see me but he is you father and he loves you and misses you..  You live an hour away from him,  Quit being selfish and visit you dad..

Wow!!! I am att a loss for words!!! I can say this though you are a very strong woman and that is to be commended!! I am so happy that you can begin your life again. I know all about the waiting game when trying to find a job!!! Stay faithful and prayerful!!! Best of luck to you!!