Excelle

I ask this because I wonder how many of you are facing career changes or going back to school to broaden your skills.  I have done both and find it a little uncomfortable that many of my teachers are drastically younger than me.   It is odd...odd that I feel uncomfortable, and wonder if any of you have had this happen to you.

Age really hasn't been an issue with me until I began taking part in a mentor-ship program and often at our meetings I am referred to as the "seasoned professional being re-educated" and  I just find it demeaning.

At first I thought I was perhaps being overly sensitive.   I don't suppose anyone wants to be referred to as an "old school idiot" but that is the vibe I get from one individual.   She has a master's degree in gerontology and I can't help but think she thinks I am taking up valuable space in her program that should have been given to someone younger.

This is the first time in my life I have ever faced an "age" issue and I am not sure how to deal with it.

Thanks for your input McKaren!   You always have something insightful to say and I appreciate you taking the time to comment.  This issue had me really perplexed.

After some reflection I asked this woman to lunch, not to discuss this feeling/reaction I was having but to allow her to see me from another perspective.  At lunch I asked her what one specific learning experience had impacted her career the most.   In return I shared mine.  I believe she was a bit taken back by mine and afterward now sees me in a different light.

People of my generation had education but also were expected to work up from the bottom, growing up to a higher level.  Many of our recent generations have not experienced this in their careers as they often move from an academic mode directly into many fields without starting at the bottom per se.  While we all have to "pay our dues" to a point, we arrived at our goals differently. 

I believe she now has an appreciation of the various paths many take to get to a goal.  We discussed the value of building a team based on how different paths were taken.  Rather than look at the stark resume of an individual, see the whole picture.   Looking at the skills one obtains on that journey reveals how they will fit into a team.  I believe we have built a better working relationship since that lunch.

The purpose of a mentor is to provide insight and advice.  I am 50; I recently received some excellent mentor advice from a younger woman in her early 30s on moving from an execution to a management role within our currnt company.  Her age did not matter to me as she was someone with experience in the problem I wanted to solve.  Unfortunately, even though I openly discussed my plans to meet with her with my current manager as part of my "career development plan" discussion, the mentoring relationship backfired.  I was called in to meetings with my manager and her manager on why I was unhappy in my role, grilled on exactly what we discussed, and had my performance rating changed from an exceptional to a needs improvement the day after our meeting.  My organization actively promotes mentoring and I act as a mentor both to co-workers via a formal program, and through programs for disadvantaged youth.  The confidentiality of mentoring is stressed. This happened fairly recently; my manager even went back and changed my end of year rating for my 2008 review (done by a different manager) based on her perceptions of what occurred.  With my current rating I am now unable to apply for other jobs internally for at least another 15 months. Since I work in credit risk and handle about twice as much work as each of my teammates, I know that this was a deliberate attempt to keep me in my current role.

I was talking to a friend just today about how far "women" still have to go in understanding the true benefits of "mentoring"; hang in there Joyce, what goes around comes around -- this might not have anything to do with you at all.

I firmly believe that karma/fate exists.  There have been a few times in my life when I was taken advantage of, mishandled, or just plain meanness directed in my direction. Oddly enough it happened when I least expected it and once by someone I considered a friend/colleague....which seemed to hurt more than anything.  

The reality is that we never really can know some one's real motives.  I prefer to offer trust openly and hope those who I come into contact with will offer the same.  I may be too trusting still, but I do know that unseemly things have a way of surfacing all on their own.   I have to believe that things really do work out for the best...only sometimes...it is hard to see it that way.