Excelle

Okay, this is a tough one. I am not an expert or anything, but I think it is different for everyone. If you want to wait until you have an established relationship, then I say take all the time you need, in fact, I think it is very smart! If he cannot or will not wait then I would say he apparently is not looking for the same thing. If he cannot respect your wishes now, then I doubt he will in the future. As far as the time, I don't think there really is a set time, you have to decide that for yourself. My fiance and I had a wonderful connection. We talked on the phone for about 6 weeks, never having been on a date. We did know each other, but just from the office where I worked and he was a patient -  anyways, it is a long story. He had a very difficult experience and a relationship that ended badly and had been alone for about almost 3 years when we began talking and I had recently had my daughter and was seperated from my husband. It began as friendship, then after 6-weeks of long, then longer and longer phone conversations that went from professional to personal to very personal, we found out a lot about each other without really even knowing or caring about the physical aspect. Then we decided to go on a date and it was like magic, and it was shortly after that (3rd date, which was about 10 weeks since our first phone conversation). Sounds quick, doesn't it, but it felt right - to both of us and we are still happily in love three years later with plans to get married! When my ex-husband and I started dating it was almost a year of on and off dating before we slept together, and we did get married eventually and it was a huge mistake. So I guess I am trying to say, that it all depends on the individuals and when the time feels right in your gut. If you don't think you are ready, then you are not!

I think when you find that right woman or that right man and if the two people sit down and talk about it I believe that their can be a relationship with no sex. I think that couples should try and keep themselves busy so even when sex does cross the mind nobody in the relationship will lead the other one into a tempting situation. However... when I think about how men and woman think and what they do today I feel that a relationship cannot exist without sex because we see it on tv we read it in the books. It's almost like sex is everywhere u turn

kbates05 says ...how  long were you married to your almost ex-husband

Hello Everyone,

 

I wanted to know how many people may have experienced this and to please give their opinions on this matter; What is so hard about asking your mate to not have sex with you unless you are in a relationship with that person only and you know their is trust and security with your companion.  To me now the physical part of the relationship can wait, I want to know about the person personally and what their goals, emotions, likes and dislikes are before the relatonship goes any further.  The two of us may not even enjoy the same things and just because we enjoy having sex is not enough and I think any person should understand.  I often wonder how long a person should wait before I invite into my bed to spend the night.  Thank you for your opinions.

 

 

 

First let me start by saying if you all are not in a relationship yet, then he is not your mate, companion, or boyfriend.  He is just your friend or an aquaintance depending on how long you have known each other. And just like any other friendship you and him both are free to have as many friends as you would like.  I commend you for wanting to wait to have sex.  That's exactly how it should be. If he is not willing to put in the work for you then you shouldn't be willing to lay down with him. With sex there is alot of possiblities that may arise after you get up out of the bed together so before laying down together you should know without a doubt if that person is a person you would want to deal with some of those possiblities with in the future.  And I cant give you an exact time on how long you should wait before but I can say it depends on  how comfortable you feel, how well you know each other, and how your relationship has developed.

Hello everyone,

I appreciate all of the comments and opinions, that everyone has shared with me and they have been very helpful.  Thank you, it is good for me to know others opinions and not to think I may always be right to the things on my mind.