Excelle

Can you predict the weather? Veeman Hodgpath can!

My name is Veeman Hodgpath, World Renowned Weatherman!

Well, maybe not ‘World’ Renowned Weatherman

But certainly Renowned Weatherman

Well, maybe not ‘Renowned’ Weatherman

But, definitely Weatherman

Well, maybe not ‘Weather’ man

Okay, I’m Veeman Hodgpath, . . . man.

At least I didn’t call myself a meteorologist!

But I’ve been through enough weather in my fifty plus years to have a pretty good grasp on forecasting the weather and being able to recognize weather patterns and conditions.

And I can be a great help to you too!

Here is my weather resume:

I’ve been rained on in the United States, Greece, England, France, Holland, and Germany.

I’ve been in the driving rain while trying to change a flat tire in North Carolina on an interstate highway.

I’ve seen it rain without a cloud in the sky in Spain.

I’ve been in light rain.

I’ve been in heavy rain.

Why I’ve even seen it rain on just one side of the street I used to live on as a kid while the other side is clear and sunny.

I’ve felt bone chilling cold rain in South Dakota and San Francisco.

I happily surrendered to a warm summer rain in Wyoming.

I’ve experienced a rain shower in New York.

I’ve experienced a ‘Noah’ rain where it rained for weeks on end in southern California. Remember the song that says, “It never rains in southern California?” LIARS!@#*%

I’ve witnessed sunny rain that produced beautiful rainbow magic in Pennsylvania.

It rained so hard one morning that I almost got swept away by a flash flood in Houston.

I can go on and on about rain. But let’s give snow equal time.

I’ve been snowed on in Philadelphia and Denver.

I’ve been in Christmas snow, big soft fluffy snowflakes coming straight down and blanketing the land, homes, and trees.

I’ve been in heavy snow that kids love and adults hate.

I’ve been in driving snow that hides everything, like my car, ice on sidewalks, and a shovel. Speaking of sidewalks, where is the sidewalk? I’ve been in blizzards, something that not even kids like.

I’ve seen snow flurries.

I know what ‘yellow’ snow is; even created some of my own in Ohio.

I’ve been in very wet snow, snow that is so wet it is almost rain.

Night snow is quieter than day snow.

Country snow is far better than city snow.

Now on to sleet

I’ve had my share of sleet.

I’ve been sleeted on in Oklahoma.

I’ve seen tiny sleet turn to slippery glass on the streets and sidewalks. That’s got to be the worst kind of sleet if you ask me.

I’ve experienced sleet that stops everything on the ground, including animals.

I’ve seen sleet stop crime, war, shopping, traffic, school, work and play, and even vacations.

I’ve seen rain turn to sleet.

I’ve seen snow become sleet

A sleetball is a snowball on steroids, and you don’t want to get hit by one of those.

Sleet has a sound all its own.

All Hail sleet

Speaking of Hail

I’ve been hailed on in Delaware.

I’ve been pelted with small hail.

I dove for cover amid softball-sized hailstones in Texas of all places.

I watched as large hailstones put large dents in my car and cracked my windshield in San Angelo.

I’ve seen hail come out of nowhere in San Francisco.

I’ve seen hail come out of somewhere too.

I’ve seen hail in warm weather in Houston.

I’ve experienced hail in harsh weather.

Once I had one hail of a day in Colorado.

Wind

I’ve experienced ‘Santa Ana’ winds in southern California that make a sound like a freight train.

I’ve experienced hurricane winds in southeast Texas.

I’ve seen tornadoes in Missouri - three of them side by side by side.

I’ve been in scorching hot wind in Arizona.

I’ve been in stinging sandy wind in Nevada.

I’ve been in the ‘Windy City’ in January. That bone-chilling cold wind was the worst.

Hot & cold – wet & dry

I’ve suffered hot, humid days in Pennsylvania and Texas.

I’ve endured cold, wet days in New Jersey.

I’ve known bone dry heat in Phoenix.

I’ve felt brain-numbing cold in Illinois.

Now, what you’ve all been waiting for. How do I predict the weather?

Well I have several predictors that I can count on

Broken bones and damaged tendons tell me.

I have arthritis in my spine.

I have some of my mother’s anemia. It tells me.

I have stiff joints, especially knees.

My feet, neck, and lower back tell me.

I have ‘thin’ skin and it tells me.

My skinny fingers like to tell me.

My blood tells me.

Sometimes my cavities tell me.

I can smell weather changes.

I watch insects.

I notice bird behavior.

I listen to the sounds my house makes, ‘snap, creak, groan.’

A change in my energy means a change in the weather.

Old man Grimsby, my neighbor across the street tells me, by the way

it’s the only time I feel like I’m cheating.

HEY! I didn’t say that forecasting the weather is EASY! You gotta pay your DUES.

My name is Veeman Hodgpath and I tell the weather.